Back in the 70s there was a show called the Liar’s Club. Celebrities on a panel were given a strange antique or some such object and each of them made up an explanation of what it was and how it worked. Only one was telling the truth and the contestants had to figure out who and bet on it.
So today on Planet Japan I arrived in my next hotel in Osaka, the Shin Osaka Station Hotel Annex. Great name. It’s an annex to a hotel that is right next to Shin Osaka Station. I checked into my room and on my desk (A desk! My last hotel room had a little cutting board sized shelf to pull out from the wall next to the bed which then doubled as a chair) I found this handy little mystery object. Clearly labeled, but in Japanese.
A. Some crazy kind of shoe horn (“the kind with teeth”**)?
Then I got a little nervous, this being Japan and all and this being primarily a businessman’s sort of hotel… “Good lord,” said I, flinging the thing to the floor, “this isn’t (C) a sex toy, is it??!?”
I consulted with the receptionist who had to run up to bring me the key to another room down the hall as she had accidentally booked me into a smoking room. That would have been one hell of an awkward moment if the answer had been C.
It was almost D. It was a back massager apparently.
If anyone really believed the answer was C, I can mail this to you for $14.95 plus shipping and … er, just shipping.
[**They Might Be Giants fans will get that]