Funny Chinese English-Menu Translation in Beijing

OK, this is the travel blogging version of low-hanging fruit. It’s been done a bit, but when you’re tired, hungry, and happy to have a menu with photos and some semblance of English, it’s amusing. The only reason I wouldn’t do worse in Mandarin if I were translating the menu, is that I wouldn’t even be able to come up with a bad translation of the characters let alone an approximation. Except maybe the number three. (Three horizontal lines stacked on top of each other.)

This is from one of my go-to restaurants in Beijing, not far from the Forbidden City. I always stay at Days Inn Forbidden City when on business. Mostly for convenience and price but also the name just cracks me up. Right across the parking lot is a place a hotel staff person sort of wrinkled her nose at and said it was sort of country. I took that as a good thing and went there anyway. Despite the miscues on the menu, the food is awesome. Price is a bit higher due to its location and convenience, but worth saving me a taxi adventure. And the bonus is the English menu….

I believe a comma is missing and I’m not sure where it is least amusing. However, I am sure it is contagious and something you get from a toilet seat.

“We’re not going to lie to you about this one. The chef isn’t from Hakka and he screws this one up every time.”

Representing Guangdong Province this year is a lovely eggplant from the countryside.

No joke here really. I just giggle when I say it.

Sounds dirty somehow.

…between the sheets. (Bonus points if you can tell me what the old meat and pineapple would be muttering about)

As my grandfather used to say.

… and the women who love them.

Is that anything like earwigs? I hate those.

Starting to look like surgical procedure photos.

And is this pot that conceals its own smell??

More than a little. We’re not even sure what the price should be.

And in other news, ten were arrested during the rally.

Because if it was salted, it wouldn’t be healthy now, would it?